Showing posts from September, 2017

A Woman

At the age of fourteen, I thought that looking into the eyes of the boy I liked was as easy as putting a love letter into his desk drawer. It took less than thirty seconds for me to take a step closer to him without any hesitancy, then I did it. I did come over his desk and I did look at him in the eyes very deeply that my eyes could have popped out. I could do it. I was dauntless, I was a girl.
Now, it is not as simple as what I did when I was fourteen. I have no idea what the heck is wrong with me. It feels like I have no strength to fight against my anxiety and nervousness. Every time I try to be bold and take the very first action, I get this brunt inside my tummy. Each and every time I push myself towards him, my chest feels like it is going to blow up. My lips cannot open up to say any word. My body literally happens to be very rigid. I myself cannot figure out why.
Him. The guy who is standing by the grey wallpapered wall.
The beat of the party moves him so fast. He dances on the …